The wife of one of our Ghanaian staff members, Lawrence, gave birth to a girl last Wednesday. Lawrence is now father to three daughters and is very happy, even though his heart was set on having a Lawrence Junior. He called Kirsty Wednesday night to inform her of the new addition to his family.
“ – So I may be late to work tomorrow…”
“Lawrence, do you want a day off?” Kirsty asked, laughing.
“Ohh, God bless you!”
The next day Kirsty shared Lawrence’s news with me. She said they named her Fiona Edelbetha. We mused over the uniqueness of the name – "Fiona" is neither a Christian name nor a local name we’ve come across yet in Ghana. Kirsty told me Lawrence's daughters chose her name; because Rhodalyn is the oldest, Lawrence and his wife honored her choice of name first. Apparently Clara chose Edelbetha because that is the name of her best friend from school.
I was four and my sister was two when our brother Jake was born. If we’d been older, would our parents have allowed us to name him? I don’t even think I knew any boy names when I was four. I wonder what growing up would be like for a boy named Dad, Prince Charming, Big Bird or Pooh Bear.
Kirsty told me Lawrence informed her of the Ghanaian tradition of keeping a baby indoors eight days following his or her birth, after which the family “outdoors” the child during an event called “The Naming Ceremony.” This Wednesday was Fiona’s Naming Ceremony. The next day Lawrence resumed his work at the office. He and I share an office - about mid-morning I heard Lawrence sigh and saw his focus had lifted from his laptop. I seized the opportunity to ask him about his daughter’s naming ceremony.
“In our culture,” he said, turning to face me in his chair, “we choose a name for our children and we also name them after an elder person in the community. It is a great honor. We chose my mother, Efua Elizabeth, so our daughter's name will be Efua Elizabeth Fiona Edelbetha Arhin.”
I thought it peculiar that she would take the name Efua as well as Elizabeth, considering “Efua” is the Fante name for females born on Friday – Fiona was born on a Wednesday, which would make her Fante name “Ekua.” Fiona’s Fante name is Ekua, her family name is Efua Elizabeth and her first and middle names are Fiona Edelbetha. That’s a lot of names to keep track of.
“Everybody wanted to come to the ceremony yesterday – everybody,” Lawrence continued, shaking his head and smiling. “I know a lot of people and they all wanted to come. They said, ‘Oh, Lawrence, oh, Lawrence, please can I come see your daughter?’ People like me because they know what I do for a profession and know it is good –” I knew by “like me” he meant “respect me.” Ghanaians don’t have many friendships because that would require trust, which most do not have for each other. They would rather have numerous connections in the you-scratch-my-back-and-I’ll-scratch-yours sort of way. In Ghana, as well as in most parts of the world, if you do enough scratching you will be well-respected by your peers. Being respected seems to be all that matters here, along with maintaining good health.
“ – and many people spend big money on these ceremonies.”
“As much as funerals and weddings?” I asked. I’ve heard several stories about families going into debt by throwing extravagant funerals. Think: Western-world weddings but three days long.
“Yes. If you are hosting a ceremony it is tradition that you must provide water to each person attending. I do not have that much money. I only had 150 cedis to spend, so I said to my wife, ‘Why not make it a small ceremony – maybe only 30 minutes long – and open a bank account for Fiona?’ She liked that, so that is what I did.”
“Lawrence, that is such a smart idea! I’m sure one day Fiona will appreciate it very much,” I said. I was relieved and impressed by Lawrence’s decision – I find it such a pity that families here go into debt when celebrating the different periods of someone’s life. Modest celebrations are just as effective and meaningful as superfluous ones.
“Yes, because each month I will put money in her account so she can go to secondary school and to university. That is what I’ve done with Rhodalyn and Clara too. Every month I put five cedis into each of their accounts. Now I will do that for Fiona too. Five in Rhodalyn’s, five in Clara’s and five in Fiona’s every month, and I don’t ever touch that money because it is theirs. They don’t even know that I’ve been doing this – I simply tell them they don’t have to worry about paying for SS or university. It is no problem.”
“You are a great father,” I told him. He beamed back at me. In most of the Western world, going to such lengths for one's children is pretty much expected. In Ghana if one has the ability and discipline to save money for their children, it is a mark of an honest educated responsible individual. It's one thing to bring people into the world; it's another to make sure they will always have everything they need.
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